Title: Flight of Azalea


Author: Kyn


Reviewer: SpicyNoodles

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Title: 2.8/5
Your title was quite interesting and mysterious but I couldn’t pick up the meaning. The choice of your title was unique but I see no similarities with the story. The title would’ve got my attention but I wouldn’t really proceed to read the story. I give you props for thinking of such a difficult yet interesting title but I’m afraid it doesn’t leave much of a good impression.

Poster and Background: 10/10
Your poster deserves full marks. I have no words to describe how beautiful it is. It definitely leaves a good impression and it makes the story tempting to read.

Forewords: 5/10
The forewords were basically lyrics (?) of another song. Sure the lyrics are beautiful, but is it going to make the reader excited to read the next chapter? I don’t even think I bothered reading every line of the lyrics. Forewords may be tough to make out in a one-shot but you have to keep it interesting enough to maintain the reader’s curiosity. But on the plus side, at least you took time to explain what "azalea" is and how it relates to love.

Plot: 7/10
It wasn’t much of a unique plot—I guess. Many would say it was more of the typical-every day story. Stories with your plot are common so the plot lacked some originality. But I do see the efforts you put in to give the story a more original feeling.

Flow: 8.3/10
I don’t read many one-shots so I suppose they’re usually short. I think it would've been much better if you had spilt the chapter into two. Overall the flow was good.

Grammar, Spelling, Vocabulary: 9/15
You had no spelling mistakes what so ever in your text. But be careful, I suggest that you take out some unnecessary words from those long sentences. It’ll be much easier to fully understand the meaning. You had a lot of grammar mistakes and you lacked many commas and periods.

For example: “I’m tired can you carry my bag for me?” Stephanie said as she grabbed Onew’s arm.

It would be better off as: “I’m tired. Can you carry my bag for me?”

I think when you edit; you focus more on spelling and forget to do the rest sometimes. Read out your sentences out loud and see if they make sense and if they are easy to understand.

Characterization: 4.5/5
I really like your characterizations. The fights between the sisters seemed really realistic which was enjoyable. Each different character had something different to them. You can just tell by their dialogue and know their personalities. I really like the main girl's personality. May be because she her personality strong. ^^

Originality: 7/10
Like I said before, the story did lack some originality but you tried. But your efforts make up for it.

Writing Style: 7.5/10
You took your time and didn't rush the story for a one-shot. Your writing style is good but with a few editing here and there, it will make your work shine. You have to improve on some things but you have time. I suggest you keep writing and you’ll definitely improve.

Overall Enjoyment: 12/15
The story was really cute and enjoyable. I like it. I still wish it was longer but you did a great job. Thanks for the good story and keep writing. ^^

Total: 75/100